The first one is always the toughest. It feels the most devastating. They WILL get better. You will have good days and you will have bad days. But there are a few things that I have figured out along the way to help you have more good than bad. 1. STAY BUSY - I find that the worst days are the ones when I have nothing to do but sit and dwell in my own little pity party. Try to schedule something everyday, be it going to a class at the gym or hanging out with friends. I did yoga for a while, it was really good to clear my mind. Right now I go to kick boxing a few times a week. The best part is, by the time I get home I'm so exhausted that I fall right to sleep! So, I have no more sleepless night when he's gone.
2. Set goals. Goals give you something to work towards rather that something to wait for. It's like "a watched pot never boils", if you just sit and stare at the calendar, it's going to take forever. But if you've got something personal to work towards,(learn a skill, make a big craft project, decorate the house, etc.) you'll find that you're running out of time instead of feeling lost in it. Plus, you'll have something to surprise hubby with when he gets home, and sense of personal growth which will only make you stronger.
3. Find good friends. Find at least one or two good friends who really care about you and keep them handy for those nights when you just don't want to go home to an empty apartment. This time I've also trained my friends to be the right kind of supportive. They are not allowed to give me the pouty face or point out the obvious, "I'm sorry, that sucks." Because it's just not helpful. I tell them to think support and distraction. That is their job for the next few months.
4. Lastly, take your vitamins and keep your house clean. Seriously, the power of a good mood is amazing! Keeping your space clean and orderly will help reduce your anxiety. And vitamins will help your mood. Especially a B-vitamin complex. And Vitamin D. Helped me get through some minor depression and makes my days a lot better now in general.
I also find it helps for me to write him an email every night. I know he's not going to read them right away and I'm not going to get one back for a while, but it helps to dump my brain every night and "tell him" everything on my mind.
Hopes this helps you. I'm on my 4th underway right now. He just left last week.
If you need anything you can email me! Good luck. Keep your chin up. You are strong, after all you are a Navy Wife! You can do this!!!
The first one is always the toughest. It feels the most devastating. They WILL get better. You will have good days and you will have bad days. But there are a few things that I have figured out along the way to help you have more good than bad.
ReplyDelete1. STAY BUSY - I find that the worst days are the ones when I have nothing to do but sit and dwell in my own little pity party. Try to schedule something everyday, be it going to a class at the gym or hanging out with friends. I did yoga for a while, it was really good to clear my mind. Right now I go to kick boxing a few times a week. The best part is, by the time I get home I'm so exhausted that I fall right to sleep! So, I have no more sleepless night when he's gone.
2. Set goals. Goals give you something to work towards rather that something to wait for. It's like "a watched pot never boils", if you just sit and stare at the calendar, it's going to take forever. But if you've got something personal to work towards,(learn a skill, make a big craft project, decorate the house, etc.) you'll find that you're running out of time instead of feeling lost in it. Plus, you'll have something to surprise hubby with when he gets home, and sense of personal growth which will only make you stronger.
3. Find good friends. Find at least one or two good friends who really care about you and keep them handy for those nights when you just don't want to go home to an empty apartment.
This time I've also trained my friends to be the right kind of supportive. They are not allowed to give me the pouty face or point out the obvious, "I'm sorry, that sucks." Because it's just not helpful. I tell them to think support and distraction. That is their job for the next few months.
4. Lastly, take your vitamins and keep your house clean. Seriously, the power of a good mood is amazing! Keeping your space clean and orderly will help reduce your anxiety. And vitamins will help your mood. Especially a B-vitamin complex. And Vitamin D. Helped me get through some minor depression and makes my days a lot better now in general.
I also find it helps for me to write him an email every night. I know he's not going to read them right away and I'm not going to get one back for a while, but it helps to dump my brain every night and "tell him" everything on my mind.
Hopes this helps you. I'm on my 4th underway right now. He just left last week.
If you need anything you can email me! Good luck. Keep your chin up. You are strong, after all you are a Navy Wife! You can do this!!!